It’s not as Overwhelming Together

Becoming a part of Voices and Choices has been a valuable step in this journey as a parent of an adult with a disability.

Many years ago, our daughter’s physiatrist (rehabilitation physician), told our family to please start to get some things, mentally and physically, in place for our daughter to live without us. At that time, we all knew that would be a stressful discussion as our daughter had no desire to move out. So, we put it off.

The physiatrist pushed a bit, saying if something happened to us as parents, then it would end up being exponentially more stressful for our daughter as the decisions would be made for her by someone else during an already stressful time.

We listened. But it has been a very gradual journey, and indeed, it has been stressful. Trying to obtain PSWs, trying to create a network of people that could stay overnight if my husband and I went away, creating an environment where we expected more responsibility from our daughter, determining trustees…

These are not easy steps. But then, one more overwhelming obstacle came. Future housing. This step, almost unimaginable, halted us in our tracks. Our family had no concept of how to start. Our daughter knew with passion what she did not want – nothing institutional. She wanted her voice to be heard and she wanted to be able to make choices to lead the life she wanted.

And then through an email from Citizen Advocacy, we were put into contact with a group that would be meeting for the first time to discuss a housing model for their adult children with disabilities.

This group has been incredible because it is not just parents who talk about stuff, although we do. It includes the adults with disabilities who, like our daughter, want their voices to be heard and their choices to be respected.

On top of that, this group is a collective. We are a community of people who have different skills and experiences that we can use together. Some are experienced at research, some at lobbying, some with writing, some with resources and government organizations and some with home development and real estate. Together, there is hope. Together, we accomplish things. Together, there are ideas, possibilities and action. And together, our family is not nearly as overwhelmed.